Why we write what we write. . .

Today I started to write a post about nail polish.

Yeah, that’s pretty frivolous.  I’m not going to change the world writing about nail polish.

But can I tell you how much money I’ve wasted on the wrong nail polish?  And manicures that didn’t last?  So when I found a good nail polish, I wanted to share it with Kalisa.  I knew she’d appreciate it, and probably want to try it.  Because sometimes we talk about nail polish.  Or the yummy dish we made for dinner last night.  Or a really comfortable bra.   She wants to know if I’ve found a fabulous inexpensive bottle of wine.  I’d like to hear about a new series she’s binge watching.

Kalisa isn’t the only the girlfriend I turn to for tips, nor am I her only source.  We are both surrounded by a tribe of friends, young and old, who teach us and guide us.  Cynthia shared her apple-dapple cake with me.  Becky referred Kalisa to a great gynecologist.   Marsha’s going to teach me what to do with all my old family photos. Gina told Kalisa about Dillard’s extra 40% off on sales.  Val taught me to make chicken noodle soup.  Jackie introduced Kalisa to The Green Egg, which is now a member of their family.

Maybe you think we’re frivolous, because we do talk about somewhat frivolous things, sometimes.  Those conversations are like the noodles in a big pan of lasagna.  (Stay with me here.)  The noodles are there providing the base and connection for the other, more important ingredients.  Yes, we talk about nail polish.  But we also talk about marriage.  We commiserate about the changes and disappointments of our aging bodies. We share our fears for our children, as they head off on their own adventures and need us less and less.  We consider how to care for our parents, aging and so far away.  We talk about prayer and God and faith.  We wrestle with our changing roles as we age, and how we might still find joy and bring joy.

Those are  Big Issues.  They make us swell with pride or break our hearts.  They’re exhausting and they wear us out.  More than once Kalisa’s answered the phone to hear me sobbing.  I hope I’ve been some comfort to her in times of distress too.  I know I can call her with good news as well, and she will truly share in my joy, without envy or judgment.  The Big Issues bring the flavor and spice to life.  To continue my hokey lasagna analogy, they’re the sausage, the ricotta, the basil.  They’re what you remember when it’s all done, rather than the noodles.

But the noodles are not unimportant; they connect, and provide a base, and they’re comforting.  A pan of sauce, meat and cheese would be overwhelming, and too much, and maybe even gross.  Between the chaos of Big Issues in our lives, we try to fill our spaces (our marriages, our friendships, our homes, our families) with joy and beauty and fun.  We think about what color to paint a room.  We wonder how to throw together a quick and healthy meal.  We plan trips, and eat at interesting restaurants.  We want comfortable but cute shoes.  And when we find something good we share it with our friends, and they do the same.

Every once in a while we’re moved to write about Big Issues — friendship, generosity, aging.  Those posts are very fulfilling and meaningful to both of us.  We both feel vulnerable when we write them, but also satisfied to have verbalized what’s in our hearts, and hopeful that our voices might be heard.  We’ve only dipped our toes into those types of posts, and we hope to do more, as we feel more courageous and less vulnerable.  But we can’t write about Big Issues all the time, because — like a pan of meat and cheese — it would be overwhelming and too much and maybe even gross.  So in the mean time, we’ll write about (as our tag line says) searching for style, delight and joy — and a great pair of shoes.  And sometimes that means writing about nail polish.

Stay tuned for a life-changing post about nail polish.

We hope you’ll keep reading.

To read about why we started this blog and chose our name, please see Why “two dandelions”?

For examples of posts where we thought about Big Issues, see Aging Parent + Distance = Challenge  or in praise of OLD friends.

For examples of fun and frivolous posts, please see Eileen Fisher sandals: Is “love” too strong a word for a shoe? and No Show Socks… Please Stop Slipping Off!.