On the eve of my mom’s 90th birthday, I’m taking a moment to appreciate her sage words of wisdom. If you know Martha Ann, I suspect you may have heard some of these gems come from her mouth. And if you don’t know her, I’m sorry. She’s a force to be reckoned with; she takes on life with energy and humor and a smile on her face. Here are some of her wisest sayings.
NEVER buy a live iguana on the beach in Mexico.
I don’t know the genesis of this one, or whether she actually learned this lesson first-hand. But it was good advice when she first said it, and it continues to be good advice.
I love this quote because it shows her adventurous nature and love of travel — if not a love of live iguanas.
I don’t know what it is; just eat it.
This was her explanation for the mystery casserole being pulled out of the oven for dinner. My mother is the world’s greatest freezer of leftover meals. She has an enormous horizontal freezer in the garage — probably 8 feet by 3 feet by 3 feet. It is FULL. Some of those leftovers have been in there since 1964; there’s no way to tell what they are. Chicken? Perhaps. Pasta? Good guess. Squash casserole? Usually. Yes, it’s usually squash casserole.
Squash casserole aside, I love this quote because you can see her thrifty nature. She is the original recycler, the queen of sustainability. Nothing goes to waste on her watch. The picture, below, shows the bounty from Mom and Dad’s garden, most of which will be frozen.
She also rinses, dries and reuses the plastic bags that the daily newspaper comes in. But that’s a nugget for a whole other post.
Nice to meet you. But I thought your first name was “That Damn.”
This is absolutely true, and almost sunk my legal career. I was a new lawyer, working for my first real boss, Rick Seabolt — now a judge in California. Mom and Dad came to see me in my new fancy office San Francisco. I introduced them to my serious, respectable and honorable boss. Mom shook his hand and said, “Rick. Hmmmm. Nice to meet you. But I thought your first name was “That Damn.”
Although I didn’t love it the minute it came out of her mouth, this is one of my favorites. First, it’s really funny. Second, when Rick paused, thought about it, and burst into laughter, it made me realize that he could laugh at himself and had a great sense of humor. Third, it taught me that you can always break the ice with a little laughter. We’re all just folks, and we should smile at and laugh with everyone, even intimidating bosses and future judges.
Craps is a game of patience.
Mom is an inveterate game player, and all the more so if gambling is involved. She taught us to play craps, in Las Vegas, instructing with precision how to back up the come bet with odds and to always play the 6 and the 8. When we lost big (as one often does in craps) and wanted to quit, she chastised that “Craps is a game of patience.” You don’t lose once and give up; you’ve got to be in for the long run.
These words of wisdom may be the most representative of my mom. There are so many lessons here.
- Play games with your friends.
- Go to Las Vegas whenever you can.
- Try new things.
- Don’t give up. Have faith. Keep going.
Let’s go to the library.
A childhood friend once told me she was envious of me when we were young because my mom took to the library every week and let me check out as many books as I wanted. I didn’t realize that that was unusual or a treat; it was just what we did. I am an enthusiastic reader today, surely due to this early habit.
Another memory I have of Mom and the library was that she used to check out framed art, from Woods’ American Gothic, to Van Gogh’s Starry Night, to Wyeth’s Christina’s World. I did not know that was unique, and I assumed everyone had the classics of the art world in rotation on their kitchen walls. I love to think of Mom hauling home a large framed painting every week and returning the “expired” piece to the public library, all to bring great art into our little green kitchen in Ardmore, Oklahoma.
My mom still goes to the library, and reads about a book a week.
GENE! (shrieked). GENE-I-KENS!!!!! (also shrieked) YOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
This was the bane of my adolescence. Frankly, I still find it embarrassing.
To get the full effect, you have to scream “GENE” (my father’s name) in a high pitched, sharp shriek, in a crowded place like a mall or city street. Then you follow it with “GENE-I-KENS” at the same decibel level, and then a big long “YOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!” To be fair, my father is hard of hearing, and it can be challenging to get his attention. But this strategy gets the attention of every person and dog in a three-block area.
Adolescent embarrassment aside, isn’t this great? Shouldn’t we all yell out the name of our loved ones?
Shouldn’t we hunt them down in the crowd, and be joyful when we find each other?
We should be exuberant and inclusive and excited. And she is.
I love you, Mom. Keep those zingers coming.
For more posts about family, please see:
- Back to school: the sucker-punch of saying goodbye to upperclassmen
- If You Think You’ve Grown Apart, Consider Pearls!
- Love is a Diet Coke with a wedge of lemon
- Buying a New Car is Breaking My Heart a Little
- Top Ten Things About Being Over 50
- Aging Parent + Distance = Challenge
- Thank you, Dad
6 comments
Laura, Just ran across your blog. It’s delightful. Your mom and her group of friends has been a joy to me ever since I moved back to Ardmore 25 years ago. I grew up hearing all their names and now I enjoy seeing all “The ladies” out an about. They are an inspiration. Your mom was my first grade teacher so she is special to me. Julie Ann Zumwalt.
Love your posts, and love the giggles.
Hi Janet! Thank you for sharing your memories of Southern Oklahoma and Virginia Lane. I think of your Mom every time I walk past her house. It’s so good to hear from you!
Hello, Laura, I just was listening to some nice music from generations of our parents – Gershwin – to be exact, and I came across your name and site on FB. Loved being your neighbor on Virginia Lane and coming home from college and later in life to go to your parents’ house for the annual Christmas gathering where my mom always took sausage balls. My mom, too, was in the “No Host” lunch group, and many other of those lunches and dinners and gatherings. When it was her turn to organize it, I would tease her and say, “I thought there was NO host….!” She was also a member of the Ivy Garden Club. I said, but mom, you can’t ever get anything to grow. She said, “Anyone can grow ivy. I can grow ivy!” Also, I remember my aunt and uncle, Don and Patty, were in your parents supper club. They would rotate homes for Happy Hour before heading out to dinner. Your post about Syble brought back so many happy memories of all the things that group of friends were always up to. Your mom is my Facebook Friend and I love it when she comments or “likes” a post. It makes me want to drive up there and give your folks a hug. Keep on telling these treasured stories of the greatest generation from our little home town! Much love, little neighbor girl! Janet
I’m so happy that you have discovered our blog! and I remember such great times running in and out of your house with my cousins. I hope you are doing well.
Laura, I haven’t read any of your things before but I loved all of this. Your mom and dad are so great and I absolutely loved your “MarthaAnnIsms”! Wonderful!!!
Karen James (The Hoods long time across-the-street neighbor)
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