White Hair Journey

The last time I colored my hair was February 20, 2020, the week before Covid shut down the world.  Little did I know I was starting my white hair journey.

I loved my colored hair.

What I didn’t love was the hours spent sitting in the salon, and the money paid to the talented Angela, my colorist.  But I did it, every 4 1/2 weeks.

Then we all hunkered down for Covid.

As my grow-out started, I was obsessed with it, as I wrote in Can we talk about quarantine hair?

I took pictures of my sprouting silvers;  I measured my silver growth.

I hated that I had the dreaded “line of demarkation,” and I was afraid that I looked like I had let myself go.  But it was easier for me than some, as I was “blond” — thanks to Angela and her magical color — instead of a dark color.  Also, as I was 100% silver under the color, my hair wouldn’t hold the color, and faded very quickly after each color.  That was frustrating when I was trying to be “blond,” but was advantageous when I was transitioning to silver, because the colored part of my hair faded to very light pretty quickly.  This photo is 10 months in, which was about 5 inches of growth.

There is still a lot of colored hair there, but it has faded so much that it blends pretty well with the new white hair.

And here I am three years after starting, all white.

Do I like my white hair?  Sometimes. . .

I have mixed feelings.  I LOVE not spending the time and money required for keeping up color. And I do get complements, more than I ever did before.  And not just from white-haired women of a certain age.  I get comments and complements from strangers, friends, young old, and women and men.  I like that I can wear colors that I couldn’t wear before, like gray, pink and purple.

And I love that moment when other “silver sisters” give me a knowing look and a smile, and even say, “I love your hair,” and I respond “I love YOUR hair.”

What I don’t like about my white hair. . .

I don’t like that it does age me.  No question.  Here’s an example.  I was in Florida with my girl Kalisa, and we were heading out on our morning walk:

My sweet Florida neighbor saw us, said she was so glad I was back in Florida, and was this gal with me my lovely daughter? While Kalisa’s coffee came out her nose she was laughing so hard, I stuttered that this is my best friend, who is younger than me, but only by six weeks.

Why does it bother me that it ages me?

Gee, there’s a lot to unpack in that question; I haven’t quite resolved that yet.  I wish I had some big philosophical conclusion, something about wisdom and beauty and aging, and the beauty of aging.  But I’ve got nothing.  I think I just don’t want to look older.

Does it require any special care?

I’m saving time and money not coloring, but the white hair does require a few different products.

Heat protection

White hair is vulnerable to heat and can singe and/or take on a yellow tone when it gets too hot.  If I’m going to use a curling or straightening iron, I use one of these products:

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Amica’s Heat Defense Serum

Alterna Caviar Leave-In Heat Protection Spray

Special shampoo

When my hair picks up some yellow tones, I have used a purple shampoo.  They can be very drying, so you have to be careful about how long you leave it on.  I have one I really like, but in writing this article I see that they have discontinued it.  Shoot.  I’ll have to start a new search for a gentle purple shampoo.

If my hair does get dried out, I do a deep condition with Olaplex No. 3 .

Will I go back to coloring?

No way.  First, it took too long and was too awkward to grow it out.

Second, there are days that I really like it.  And days I don’t.  But more days that I like it.

I also love the freedom it gives me.  I can travel; my schedule is not tethered to my salon appointments.  I don’t have to worry about whether my roots are showing when it’s been a few weeks since my last color.  I don’t have to buy color-safe shampoo and hair products.

Finally, I love that I clearly have my dad’s hair, and I see a little of him in me now.  I am my father’s daughter.  If I’ve got to age, there are worse things than becoming more like my dad.

For more thoughts on the challenges around hair, please see:

• Hair-Don’ts. . . epic fails from the quest for good hair
• Hair Products: A Cut Above the Rest!
• Can we talk about quarantine HAIR?