Nothing derails a good story like me interrupting my kids to correct their grammar. But I will continue to correct, amidst the eye rolls and looks of frustration, because it does matter. Or at least it matters to some of us, who are admittedly persnickety, and probably a dying breed. Here are my grammar pet peeves.
And to prove that I’m not inflexible, I’m also including some grammar faux pas that don’t bother me one bit, and which I regularly engage in. (My 5th grade teacher would here correct “which I regularly engage in ” with “in which I regularly engage.” But more about that later.)
Grammar Pet Peeves:
“Me and her have a blog.” (The Wrong Pronoun)
This is my number one pet peeve, and the thing I nag my kids about most. And it’s not just my sweet, smart, articulate kids who do this. I’ve heard teachers, speakers, celebrities, radio hosts, and pastors make this mistake.
Technically, this is known as using as subjective pronoun when you should have used a nominative one. (Yawn.). Practically, here are some examples, followed by the correct statement:
Kelly and me are going for a walk.
Kelly and I are going for a walk.
Me and him both love ice cream.
He and I both love ice cream.
You know Ben? Well him and me are going on a trip together.
You know Ben? Well he and I are going on a trip together.
This seems to happen when the statement has more than one subject. The trick I was taught is to take each subject alone. Would you say, “Me is going for a walk,” “Him love ice cream,” ” or “Me is going on a trip” ? Geez, I hope you wouldn’t, unless you are a cave man. Use the right pronoun.
A second rule being broken above is putting yourself before your friends. Even if you have the right form of the pronouns, you wouldn’t say “I and he are going on a trip together.” You would say “He and I are going on a trip together.” In grammar, as in life, put others first.
“Merry Christmas from the Peraino’s” (Plural v. possessive)
My last name is Peraino. When my family is present, we are “the Perainos” – not “the Peraino’s” or even “the Perainos'”. It seems that as the holidays approach everyone loses their minds and forgets the basic rules of grammar.
Moreover, that cute sign you had made for your friends’ lake house? It should say “Welcome to the Smiths’ Lake House.” That is, unless your friend Ms. Smith lives all alone, and is known as the Smith, and then the sign could say “Welcome to the Smith’s Lake House.” But that seems unlikely.
“I graduated high school in 1982.” (The missing “from”)
This one is incredibly pervasive. That still doesn’t make it right. You don’t “graduate high school;” you “graduate from high school.”
I could bore you now about transitive and intransitive verbs. I won’t do that. But trust me, this is correct. In the words of the awesome Grammar Girl: “So listen closely: If you go around saying you graduated college, you sound illiterate. The correct way is to say that you graduated FROM college.”
Kinda, Sorta, Just, Like
“I kinda like French fries.” Are you crazy? Nobody “kinda” likes French fries. Either you like them, or you don’t.
“She sorta told me to go home.” Did she tell you? Or not?
“He just, like, slammed the door.” No just. No like. “He slammed the door.”
Leave out the indecision and the grammatical throat-clearing. State what you mean. Which leads right into my next pet peeve:
Uptalking?
“I was hungry? So I went to the store? And I bought way too much? And now I don’t have room in my refrigerator for it all?”
Uptalking is ending each statement like a question, even if not intended as a question. It is particularly prevalent in the younger generation. (Good grief, I really am becoming a grumpy old woman. Pretty soon I’ll be telling kids to stay off my lawn.). But it doesn’t solely belong to the young. It makes you sound indecisive and insecure, and like you are looking for approval with each sentence. Please stop uptalking.
To be or not to be? Just don’t leave out “to be.”
My next pet peeve — leaving out “to be” — may be unique to the midwest. I never heard it my many years in the south, or when I lived in California. Here are some examples:
The yard needs mowed.
The yard needs to be mowed. Or perhaps The yard needs mowing.
My car needs washed.
My car needs to be washed.
I don’t get it. And here in the midwest, this is everywhere. Please bring back “to be.”
Your and you’re; there, their and they’re; to, two and too.
I can’t believe I even have to include these. But they’re out there. (Or as some might say, “there out their.”). Please don’t do this.
I’m not completely inflexible; here are some grammatical “quirks” that don’t bother me at all.
Language is constantly changing. New words are added to the dictionary every year. Rules change. We don’t all need to speak like the dowager countess on Downton Abbey. Regional idioms can be charming (regardless of my disdain for “the yard needs mowed.”). Here are the rules I don’t mind being broken.
(And I recognize and understand that folks don’t agree with me on these. I have heard from both Kalisa and my husband that some of these drive them crazy. Oh well. Love me, love my speech.)
“Fixing to do it”
Yes, it’s southern, and perhaps it’s rednecky. (Perhaps? OK. I admit it; it’s rednecky.). But the word “fixing” used as an indication that your actions are imminent is tremendously useful and easy.
“I’m fixing to turn down your street.” (Said on the phone, as your are turning onto your friend’s block.). So much easier and to-the-point than ” I am preparing to turn the steering wheel to advance towards your house,” or “I will imminently be arriving on your block.”
This one makes Kalisa crazy. It doesn’t bother me one bit.
Y’all need to learn how to use y’all
“Y’all” is a very useful phrase. “Y’all” is always plural, contrary to what some northerners think. I ask my husband, “What do you want for dinner?’ I ask my family, “What do y’all want for dinner?” They understand I am addressing them all.
The problem with using the proper word — “you” — is that the members of the group do not know to whom I am speaking, and whether the statement was directed at one of all. This may explain why when I say to my family, “Can you please help me with the dishes?” everyone ignores me, because clearly they thought I was speaking to someone else.
Split Infinitives
Where would we be without “To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone”?
Or how about:
He seems to really like her.
I’d like to quickly run into the store.
Often, and particularly when spoken (rather than written), the split infinitive doesn’t bother me. It makes my husband crazy.
However, I don’t mind starting a sentence with “however.”
I remember learning from Strunk & White that you shouldn’t begin a sentence with “however.” However, it doesn’t bother me at all in most cases.
Ending a sentence with a preposition: What’s all the fuss about?
You know the old joke, don’t you?
The University of Texas grad asked, “Where did you go to school at?” He answered, “I went to Harvard, where we know better than to end a sentence in a preposition.” The Texas grad responded, “Of course! Pardon me. Where did you go to school at, Jackass?”
While I don’t recommend the exchange above, there are times when ending a sentence in a preposition just makes sense, and to do otherwise will result in a strange and tortured sentence. To quote Winston Churchill, “That is the sort of thing up with which I will not put!”
Examples where (in my opinion) it is fine to end a sentence with a preposition:
Those were the three people I was with.
You won’t believe what this book is about!
What building did he go into?
I feel better now.
I’ve aired my grievances, and now I’ll try to get along without actively correcting anyone. Unless your last name is Peraino. Then you are fair game.
One last thing. . . I mentioned Strunk & White. If your looking for a great book about grammar and style, there book is the best you can find. Me and Kalisa use it all the time. It needs studied. (See what I did their?)
You can find it here at Amazon if you’re interested. It is short and informative and (not surprisingly) well-written. Fun fact: it is co-written by E.B. White, author of Charlotte’s Web and Stuart Little.
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If you want to read some good authors who don’t make the grammar faux pas mentioned in this post, please see:
1 comment
ENJOYED THIS VERY MUCH!!!