Girl, You Need Some Friends!

“Girl, you need some friends,” I kept telling myself shortly after moving to Austin, Texas in September. But as many of us tend to do, I focused on getting settled into our house. It seemed like the tasks were endless, although as we neared the holidays, I realized I was putting off putting myself out there.

Why Delay?

Why? I think it’s hard to find and make new friends. And harder as we get older. It may be a little easier if you’re an extrovert, but if you’re more of an introvert, it can be nerve-wracking to walk into a group of women and not know anyone. I’m self-conscious about the whole ordeal and just hoping it goes reasonably well. Plus it’s challenging to figure out where to meet people. It isn’t like the old days when you meet so many people through your children/schools.

Where? How?

If you’re into a sport or activity, that’s a great start. Church is a logical place to connect with people. Volunteering is certainly a way to meet people. Maybe the gym. And if you’re in a retirement area, there are often social events planned, although that isn’t the case for us just yet.

Fast forward to our kind insurance agent who told me about a women’s social group she started four years ago. There are now almost 400 members and they host a social event one evening per month. It’s fun, festive and a great way to meet people.

The same insurance agent encouraged me to check out another group, which has been around a little longer and has nearly 500 members. Both groups require members to be at least 45 years old. Every month the second group hosts a  coffee, a lunch, a happy hour, a Rummikub night, a Mexican Train night, and a Euchre night. There are five dinner club groups, too.

These women have been welcoming, friendly and warm. There’s something for everyone and when you cast a wide net, you’re bound to find your people. I’m working on it and really enjoying it. I’m also reminded that while the beginning may be uncomfortable, you get out of it what you put into it. Most of the women I met moved here from somewhere else, too, and were looking for connections, too.

I can feel a difference in myself. I feel more energized and more motivated. I have close friends who live in other cities, thankfully, but it’s important to form connections where you live.

Benefits of Friendships

Thinking through the value of female friendships, there are so many pluses:

1. Social Support: Close friendships provide emotional support, companionship, and a sense of belonging, which becomes increasingly important we age and may experience life changes such as retirement, children leaving home, or the loss of loved ones.
2. Health Benefits: Research suggests that strong social connections, including friendships, are linked to better physical and mental health outcomes. Having girlfriends to confide in and share experiences with can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and boost overall well-being.
3. Mutual Support: As we get older, we may face various life transitions such as health concerns, caregiving responsibilities, or redefining our identity after retirement. Girlfriends can offer empathy, advice, and practical support during these transitions, drawing from their own experiences and wisdom.
4. Social Engagement: Maintaining an active social life becomes increasingly important as people age. Friendships provide opportunities for socializing, participating in activities, and trying new things, which can help combat loneliness and isolation.
5. Stress Relief and Laughter: Spending time with friends often involves laughter, humor, and lighthearted moments. Sharing jokes, reminiscing about old times, and simply enjoying each other’s company can provide a welcome break from the stresses and challenges of everyday life.
6. Empowerment and Growth: Close friendships can foster personal growth, self-confidence, and a sense of empowerment. Girlfriends offer encouragement, validation, and a supportive environment where individuals can explore new interests, pursue personal goals, and embrace their true selves. I find this so valuable.

I can only hope I give to friendships what I receive, and that I’m as welcoming to new faces as people have been to me. I love that these women took the initiative to organize a group and they have blossomed into a fabulous network for developing friendships.

As years progress, I value my long-term and new friendships more and more. Girls, we need our girls!